Fakin' it

I have gotten to the point where I have to fake it at least once a club day. You know, the kind of faking like you remember someone you would normally swear you've never seen before in your life. This all began when I kept having people come up to me .."remember me?" and I'd have to give them the head tilt confused look that any common alcoholic gives when faced with anything involving "memories". I know they say that honesty is the best policy, but I truly think that in cases like this it is better for both parties involved to LIE LIE LIE. This way you avoid the disappointed puppy dog look that is inevitable when you admit that you have no recollection whatsoever of the person in front of you. So after seeing that look of disappointment WAYYYY too many times I decided from that point on I was going to say I remember EVERYONE..."Of course I remember you!! I'm just really bad with names". Seems to have a much better response than the "honest" alternative, and usually it was almost true. Sometimes though...they could just as well be lying about knowing me because I wouldn't know the damn difference. THIS is where it gets a little complicated. What if BOTH parties are fakin' it? Lets say a guy comes up starts dancing and laughing with you like you have been friends for yeaaarrrssss this can be tricky. I usually fall for it for a bit (one of the sideeffects of also being a faker) then I get stuck asking "do I know you?". Luckily the answer is usually "no", allowing me to give them the side eye and walk away, so it has yet to backfire. But I'm sure its only a matter of time. Lets all take a moment to work on preventing this kind of event from happening...actually lets take 6 minutes.
NAPTIME!